Well, this proved to be a very interesting weekend... One which still has me simmering!
The short version of this really really really long story is as follows: I dated a guy who has just recently got engaged to some girl that he was seeing towards the end of our relationship. He claims they were just friends but I certainly don't believe that! Anyway.. she own a little Mexican bar near where I stay and completely by default, we ended up there on Saturday night...
Well, what seemed to start out very pleasantly, didn't quite end up that way. After my Ex came to greet me at the table where I was sitting and I wished him congratulation on his engagement, he went back to where his fiance (who shall be called Mia for the duration of this story) was sitting and everything seemed to be fine.. I continued to drink and laugh with my mates and didnt give either of them another thought...
As we normally do...we proceeded to drink Tequila after Tequila and then realised that the vibe in the little Mexican joint was not quite what we were looking for and decided to leave and go elsewhere.
I was casually doing the rounds, saying goodbye to the crowd we had spent the evening with when Mia pushed past me and almost knocked me clean off my feet. I thought nothing of it. After all, the little Mexican dump that she calls her business was not bigger than 4 cars in a row... Bumping into people is normal in a tiny little tin shack reminiscent of a beach bar in derelict Mozambique right?!?!
As I was walking out of the "delightful" place, she caught my eye outside and her opening line was "Dude, can I talk to you"
Now, to pause this story for a short while..there are many words in the English language that I tolerate from other people, when in actual fact, all I actually want to do, is tear my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs from frustration..but I don't! I try my hardest to remain composed and slowly count to ten in my head... DUDE is a word that has the capacity to set me off like a rocket!! There are honestly fewer things in this world that rub me the wrong way than being called DUDE!!!!!
So, getting back to my story.. Considering the fact that I don't know her from a bar of soap, I chose to ignore the "Dude" word and tried my hardest to remain friendly and calm.. Then, she started to pace a bit and flutter her eyes and huff so I then realised, this was actually not going to be the friendly conversation I had thought it may be. She swore and yelled and accused me of the most outrageous things. She claims that I am always in her face and that I am everywhere she goes.. Which, for a brief moment, really tickled me, cos I think I have only ever seen her rather unfortunate face twice in my life, including the conversation we were having. But she wouldn't listen to reason and she certainly had no intention of this being a civil conversation. For her, this was an opportunity to air her issues with me, however irrelevant, untrue and childish they seemed to me.
In that moment, it seemed that time stopped for a very short while and I located information about my ex, her fiance, in what is otherwise known as "File 13" and there was an enormous part of me that considered blowing their pathetically cushy relationship to smithereens! But as I stood there wrestling with my conscience as to whether or not to tell her what I knew about her "darling" fiance..I couldn't lower myself to actually follow through. At the time, it seemed the better choice but as I left the Mexican DUMP, I got angrier and angrier as they seconds passed.
At the time I couldn't pin point which part of the whole childish conversation annoyed me the most but later that night, after far too much alcohol had been consumed, I suddenly felt my eyes brimming with tears and realised that more than being angry with Mia for what she had said and they way she had behaved or even for calling me DUDE, I was angry at myself. I was angry that yet again, I backed down and let someone else have control over the situation. I should have told her that he kissed me in a night club when she was standing 10 meters away. I should have told her that her sms'd me constantly for a period of time, while they were together, telling me that he wanted to meet me at my place so we could get it on "for old time's sake". I should have told her that I recently saw him out, flirting with two women at a bar while she wasnt there and when I say flirting..I am not just talking about innocent conversation...I should have told her that on the exceptionally rare occasion that I have sms'd him for information I needed from him regarding a time when we lived together, he ends his message back to me with with "XXX" but in that moment, right there, being accused on having a "F*&#ing problem" with her and being told that I need to stay away from him..I couldn't do anything and that made me angry!
I am bitter and twisted as hell that she felt that she has the right to launch an attack on me, outside of her place of work, in front of MY friends about something that I feel had nothing to do with me. And what seems to be more about her pathetic, unjustified insecurites than it does about me.
The only thing stopping me from calling her up right now and letting her in on the very sordid details of her fiance's life, is the fact that she has a nose that would make a big-nosed Jew blush, hands that even an 80 year old granny would be embarrassed about and an ass three times the size of mine!!!
So in closing, this is all I have to say to her...
This is how I define beauty MIA~
"Beauty seems to be in the eyes of the jealous B*TCH that couldn't stop staring at me due to the fact that her fiance couldn't stop himself from staring at me either!"
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sorry seems to be...
Why do you suppose it is that some people have the inability to apologise?
Is it because they genuinely believe that no matter the situation, they are always right? Do they think that just because they have some warped perception of themselves that they are never accountable?
I ask because throughout my life there have been times when I would rather have eaten my own vomit than apologise to someone but as much as the prospect of eating vomit might interest some people, there is always, always, some little voice in the back of my head, telling me to say sorry and most of the time, I do. My little Jimeny Cricket is always present in any situation and if I am wrong, most of the time, I will apologise for it.
I just don't understand how some people will NOT apologise at any expense. Do they believe that they don't have to? And if they believe this, then why the hell not? Why don't you have to apologise? What the hell makes you so damn close to perfection that if by some unlikely chance, you have done something wrong, then the responsibility of the apology certainly shouldn't rest with you??? What makes you so certain?
The reason for my ranting today is simply due to certain members of my family that seem to think that due to the unfortunate fact that I am younger than them, I am responsible for the apology, even if I haven't done anything wrong.. Mr gran, bless her heart - she means well, is always saying to me "Just apologise and smooth things over" BUGGER THAT!
My aunt, bless her heart - I don't think she means well, always says to me, I am older than you and you can apologise to me. BUGGER THAT!!! I have an enormous problem with her logic! There is +- 20 years difference between us, so for the rest of my life, no matter what the situation, she is ALWAYS going to be older than me.. Even when I am someones mother, she will still be older than me but does that mean for the rest of my life, I am always going to be the one to apologise? Do I always have to tuck my tail between my legs, swallow my beliefs and apologise due to the fact that she has 20 years on me? How does she rationalise this stupid stupid "explanation" in her head????
What she tries to tell me, ad nausium, is that because I am younger than her, I need to shut up, accept anything she throws at me and apologise when there is an argument. And she bases this theory on that fact that she believes that she is 1. As damn near close to perfect as someone can be; and 2. that she is older than me so it is my "responsibility" to apologise! WHAT A CROCK!!!
Why is it that for some people "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" ?
Is it because they genuinely believe that no matter the situation, they are always right? Do they think that just because they have some warped perception of themselves that they are never accountable?
I ask because throughout my life there have been times when I would rather have eaten my own vomit than apologise to someone but as much as the prospect of eating vomit might interest some people, there is always, always, some little voice in the back of my head, telling me to say sorry and most of the time, I do. My little Jimeny Cricket is always present in any situation and if I am wrong, most of the time, I will apologise for it.
I just don't understand how some people will NOT apologise at any expense. Do they believe that they don't have to? And if they believe this, then why the hell not? Why don't you have to apologise? What the hell makes you so damn close to perfection that if by some unlikely chance, you have done something wrong, then the responsibility of the apology certainly shouldn't rest with you??? What makes you so certain?
The reason for my ranting today is simply due to certain members of my family that seem to think that due to the unfortunate fact that I am younger than them, I am responsible for the apology, even if I haven't done anything wrong.. Mr gran, bless her heart - she means well, is always saying to me "Just apologise and smooth things over" BUGGER THAT!
My aunt, bless her heart - I don't think she means well, always says to me, I am older than you and you can apologise to me. BUGGER THAT!!! I have an enormous problem with her logic! There is +- 20 years difference between us, so for the rest of my life, no matter what the situation, she is ALWAYS going to be older than me.. Even when I am someones mother, she will still be older than me but does that mean for the rest of my life, I am always going to be the one to apologise? Do I always have to tuck my tail between my legs, swallow my beliefs and apologise due to the fact that she has 20 years on me? How does she rationalise this stupid stupid "explanation" in her head????
What she tries to tell me, ad nausium, is that because I am younger than her, I need to shut up, accept anything she throws at me and apologise when there is an argument. And she bases this theory on that fact that she believes that she is 1. As damn near close to perfect as someone can be; and 2. that she is older than me so it is my "responsibility" to apologise! WHAT A CROCK!!!
Why is it that for some people "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" ?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Ummm, no, not so much...
Okay, so, last night before I went to sleep, I had decided, that today, I was going to write down some really mushy, gushy stuff about being grateful for the friends and family that I have in my life... (yeah, that would be your queue to throw up). I think this sudden rush of blood to the head was brought on due to a combination of the fact that my little sister turned 18 on Friday, that we had an entire weekend of friends and family and then I sat up till very late last night with a friend talking about the complexities of her love life...or current lack thereof...
But then, after having very little sleep and eventually waking up to the deafening sound of my alarm , the thought crossed my mind - Was I feeling all that grateful? - Ummm, no, not so much...
Truth be told, I have a lot that I can be grateful for but isn't it sometimes that much more fulfilling to have a good rant about all the things you aren't actually grateful for???
For example, on this particular Monday, after having very little sleep, I find myself in my office, battling to choke down my breakfast due to the fact that I am currently contemplating the murder of a colleague... If I have to hear the words "Are you hungry for Jesus" ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I have nothing against religion or anyone who is a believer in anything... I do however, have an incredible problem with being subjected to gospel music first thing in the morning, every working morning, between the hours of 8 and 9 in the morning. I feel that it is just plain and simply unnecessary! I don't sit here, blasting music about how I am "hungry for Satan" (Not that I am even remotely Satanic) but the point is the same : HAVE A LITTLE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE DAMMIT!! I mean, seriously?? What if I was a raging Satanist and the type to take serious offence to the melodies of "are you hungry for Jesus"??? What then?
It's bad enough having to be awake and be at work, on a MONDAY no less; and share an office with people who, for whatever reason, even in the blistering Joburg heat, never seem to feel that heat, having the daily struggle with them over the air con, I now have to throw into the mix, that I actually don't like their choice in music... Do I honestly have the energy for this?! And even if I did, on this particular Monday, have the energy to say something about it, I am almost 1000% certain that the reaction is going to be "oh, really, that is so strange. Don't you follow the word of our Lord?" Ummm, no, not so much! But the fact remains, even if I did find myself with an insatiable "hunger for Jesus", I certainly would be considerate enough keep the harmonising melodies of it all, TO MYSELF!
If you ask me, there are plenty of thing to be grateful for...annoying, self indulgent colleagues with damaged temperature regulators,UMMM, NO, NOT SO MUCH!
But then, after having very little sleep and eventually waking up to the deafening sound of my alarm , the thought crossed my mind - Was I feeling all that grateful? - Ummm, no, not so much...
Truth be told, I have a lot that I can be grateful for but isn't it sometimes that much more fulfilling to have a good rant about all the things you aren't actually grateful for???
For example, on this particular Monday, after having very little sleep, I find myself in my office, battling to choke down my breakfast due to the fact that I am currently contemplating the murder of a colleague... If I have to hear the words "Are you hungry for Jesus" ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I have nothing against religion or anyone who is a believer in anything... I do however, have an incredible problem with being subjected to gospel music first thing in the morning, every working morning, between the hours of 8 and 9 in the morning. I feel that it is just plain and simply unnecessary! I don't sit here, blasting music about how I am "hungry for Satan" (Not that I am even remotely Satanic) but the point is the same : HAVE A LITTLE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE DAMMIT!! I mean, seriously?? What if I was a raging Satanist and the type to take serious offence to the melodies of "are you hungry for Jesus"??? What then?
It's bad enough having to be awake and be at work, on a MONDAY no less; and share an office with people who, for whatever reason, even in the blistering Joburg heat, never seem to feel that heat, having the daily struggle with them over the air con, I now have to throw into the mix, that I actually don't like their choice in music... Do I honestly have the energy for this?! And even if I did, on this particular Monday, have the energy to say something about it, I am almost 1000% certain that the reaction is going to be "oh, really, that is so strange. Don't you follow the word of our Lord?" Ummm, no, not so much! But the fact remains, even if I did find myself with an insatiable "hunger for Jesus", I certainly would be considerate enough keep the harmonising melodies of it all, TO MYSELF!
If you ask me, there are plenty of thing to be grateful for...annoying, self indulgent colleagues with damaged temperature regulators,UMMM, NO, NOT SO MUCH!
Friday, January 22, 2010
What about the filling?
I have recently started working for a company (and by recently, I mean, about 6 or 7 months ago) and I have noticed that there are some leaders and some followers. And then, there are those that are just content to do absolutely nothing at all, but that is an entirely different story on it's own.
The leaders are bold and strong and wanna take charge but also most likely to be the one's crawling up the boss's arse for that elusive "gold star" of approval. These are the kinds of people that I like least. Not because I am one of those under-achievers who cant seem to make the grade and am envious. And not because I am an over achiever that cant stand any challenge for my "teacher's pet" position. For the pure and simple reason that I don't understand why some people feel it to be of the utmost importance to show other people up but puffing out their feathers and doing the "I am better than you" strut... What is the point of it? So the boss notices that you've done a good job, or that you have taken some initiative..Oh goodie for you!
But seriously, you lose the respect of your colleagues and peers by being the "but-kiss" of the month 13 months of the year.. People don't wanna be friends with the "But-kiss". The "but-kiss" doesn't get invited for after-work drinks, or to the water cooler to skinner. No one even wants to be seen with the "Butt-kiss" because automatically by association, you then must be wanting to get "butt-kiss" points... The "butt-kiss" is like the red-haired step child of the family...
I don't see what the big deal is about being the favourite... Cos at the end of the day, it takes all types of people to make a business successful and by that, I am referring to the followers of the company. Ultimately, it starts with Nandi, the gossip queen, tea girl, who makes up the very thin, flavour-less bottom crust. And it ends with the beer bellied, power-tie wearing, cold stare boss who makes up the rich and golden-brown, light and fluffy, upper-crust. But what most people forget is those that make up the filling of the award winning pie... The followers...
People like boring and plain, partially and potentially suicidal Mary in accounts, without whom, the company wouldn't survive? What about "I'm so flirty", short-skirt-y, Kylie who answers the phone, who, without her bubbly personality, the company wouldn't survive? How about Mr straight-laced, annoying-as-hell, anal retentive Billy who is otherwise known as the bean-counter, without whom, the company would also, not survive? What happens to the everyday praise for these people?
But then... you get the "I-am-so-much-better-than-you" girl (For this story, we shall call her Vicki) who feels that anything you can do, she can do better.. Vicki isn't going to win any prizes for being the prettiest, or hardest worker. Vicki is a girl with a very low self esteem that fees that in order for her to feel better than everyone else, she needs to make people aware of her (non-existent) brilliance on a daily basis.
She believes that her way to a better self esteem is by seeking approval from the boss, who, truth be told, couldn't actually give a sh*t whether she was there or not as she really doesn't bring anything spectacular to his pie... Vicki walks around with the "Hello, my name is Vicki, and I am the BUTT-KISS of the month" badge permanently stuck to her forehead... She's THAT girl... you know which girl... the one in YOUR office that you just wanna smack! Yip, that's our Vicki..
Truth be told, Vicki means well, but by crawling up the bosses arse 8 days a week, all that is happening is that she is losing the respect of her colleagues and peers and no one really like her. So my question is, what does one want to be the "teacher's pet" for? Can anyone tell me what it does for you in the long run???
Bottom line: whether or not "Mrs Butt-Kiss" of the month gets that gold star or not, she'll still only ever be known as "Butt-kiss of the month" and who wants to be the part of the pie that no one likes?
The leaders are bold and strong and wanna take charge but also most likely to be the one's crawling up the boss's arse for that elusive "gold star" of approval. These are the kinds of people that I like least. Not because I am one of those under-achievers who cant seem to make the grade and am envious. And not because I am an over achiever that cant stand any challenge for my "teacher's pet" position. For the pure and simple reason that I don't understand why some people feel it to be of the utmost importance to show other people up but puffing out their feathers and doing the "I am better than you" strut... What is the point of it? So the boss notices that you've done a good job, or that you have taken some initiative..Oh goodie for you!
But seriously, you lose the respect of your colleagues and peers by being the "but-kiss" of the month 13 months of the year.. People don't wanna be friends with the "But-kiss". The "but-kiss" doesn't get invited for after-work drinks, or to the water cooler to skinner. No one even wants to be seen with the "Butt-kiss" because automatically by association, you then must be wanting to get "butt-kiss" points... The "butt-kiss" is like the red-haired step child of the family...
I don't see what the big deal is about being the favourite... Cos at the end of the day, it takes all types of people to make a business successful and by that, I am referring to the followers of the company. Ultimately, it starts with Nandi, the gossip queen, tea girl, who makes up the very thin, flavour-less bottom crust. And it ends with the beer bellied, power-tie wearing, cold stare boss who makes up the rich and golden-brown, light and fluffy, upper-crust. But what most people forget is those that make up the filling of the award winning pie... The followers...
People like boring and plain, partially and potentially suicidal Mary in accounts, without whom, the company wouldn't survive? What about "I'm so flirty", short-skirt-y, Kylie who answers the phone, who, without her bubbly personality, the company wouldn't survive? How about Mr straight-laced, annoying-as-hell, anal retentive Billy who is otherwise known as the bean-counter, without whom, the company would also, not survive? What happens to the everyday praise for these people?
But then... you get the "I-am-so-much-better-than-you" girl (For this story, we shall call her Vicki) who feels that anything you can do, she can do better.. Vicki isn't going to win any prizes for being the prettiest, or hardest worker. Vicki is a girl with a very low self esteem that fees that in order for her to feel better than everyone else, she needs to make people aware of her (non-existent) brilliance on a daily basis.
She believes that her way to a better self esteem is by seeking approval from the boss, who, truth be told, couldn't actually give a sh*t whether she was there or not as she really doesn't bring anything spectacular to his pie... Vicki walks around with the "Hello, my name is Vicki, and I am the BUTT-KISS of the month" badge permanently stuck to her forehead... She's THAT girl... you know which girl... the one in YOUR office that you just wanna smack! Yip, that's our Vicki..
Truth be told, Vicki means well, but by crawling up the bosses arse 8 days a week, all that is happening is that she is losing the respect of her colleagues and peers and no one really like her. So my question is, what does one want to be the "teacher's pet" for? Can anyone tell me what it does for you in the long run???
Bottom line: whether or not "Mrs Butt-Kiss" of the month gets that gold star or not, she'll still only ever be known as "Butt-kiss of the month" and who wants to be the part of the pie that no one likes?
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