Define beauty...

Well, this proved to be a very interesting weekend... One which still has me simmering!

The short version of this really really really long story is as follows: I dated a guy who has just recently got engaged to some girl that he was seeing towards the end of our relationship. He claims they were just friends but I certainly don't believe that! Anyway.. she own a little Mexican bar near where I stay and completely by default, we ended up there on Saturday night...

Well, what seemed to start out very pleasantly, didn't quite end up that way. After my Ex came to greet me at the table where I was sitting and I wished him congratulation on his engagement, he went back to where his fiance (who shall be called Mia for the duration of this story) was sitting and everything seemed to be fine.. I continued to drink and laugh with my mates and didnt give either of them another thought...

As we normally do...we proceeded to drink Tequila after Tequila and then realised that the vibe in the little Mexican joint was not quite what we were looking for and decided to leave and go elsewhere.

I was casually doing the rounds, saying goodbye to the crowd we had spent the evening with when Mia pushed past me and almost knocked me clean off my feet. I thought nothing of it. After all, the little Mexican dump that she calls her business was not bigger than 4 cars in a row... Bumping into people is normal in a tiny little tin shack reminiscent of a beach bar in derelict Mozambique right?!?!

As I was walking out of the "delightful" place, she caught my eye outside and her opening line was "Dude, can I talk to you"

Now, to pause this story for a short while..there are many words in the English language that I tolerate from other people, when in actual fact, all I actually want to do, is tear my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs from frustration..but I don't! I try my hardest to remain composed and slowly count to ten in my head... DUDE is a word that has the capacity to set me off like a rocket!! There are honestly fewer things in this world that rub me the wrong way than being called DUDE!!!!!

So, getting back to my story.. Considering the fact that I don't know her from a bar of soap, I chose to ignore the "Dude" word and tried my hardest to remain friendly and calm.. Then, she started to pace a bit and flutter her eyes and huff so I then realised, this was actually not going to be the friendly conversation I had thought it may be. She swore and yelled and accused me of the most outrageous things. She claims that I am always in her face and that I am everywhere she goes.. Which, for a brief moment, really tickled me, cos I think I have only ever seen her rather unfortunate face twice in my life, including the conversation we were having. But she wouldn't listen to reason and she certainly had no intention of this being a civil conversation. For her, this was an opportunity to air her issues with me, however irrelevant, untrue and childish they seemed to me.

In that moment, it seemed that time stopped for a very short while and I located information about my ex, her fiance, in what is otherwise known as "File 13" and there was an enormous part of me that considered blowing their pathetically cushy relationship to smithereens! But as I stood there wrestling with my conscience as to whether or not to tell her what I knew about her "darling" fiance..I couldn't lower myself to actually follow through. At the time, it seemed the better choice but as I left the Mexican DUMP, I got angrier and angrier as they seconds passed.

At the time I couldn't pin point which part of the whole childish conversation annoyed me the most but later that night, after far too much alcohol had been consumed, I suddenly felt my eyes brimming with tears and realised that more than being angry with Mia for what she had said and they way she had behaved or even for calling me DUDE, I was angry at myself. I was angry that yet again, I backed down and let someone else have control over the situation. I should have told her that he kissed me in a night club when she was standing 10 meters away. I should have told her that her sms'd me constantly for a period of time, while they were together, telling me that he wanted to meet me at my place so we could get it on "for old time's sake". I should have told her that I recently saw him out, flirting with two women at a bar while she wasnt there and when I say flirting..I am not just talking about innocent conversation...I should have told her that on the exceptionally rare occasion that I have sms'd him for information I needed from him regarding a time when we lived together, he ends his message back to me with with "XXX" but in that moment, right there, being accused on having a "F*&#ing problem" with her and being told that I need to stay away from him..I couldn't do anything and that made me angry!

I am bitter and twisted as hell that she felt that she has the right to launch an attack on me, outside of her place of work, in front of MY friends about something that I feel had nothing to do with me. And what seems to be more about her pathetic, unjustified insecurites than it does about me.

The only thing stopping me from calling her up right now and letting her in on the very sordid details of her fiance's life, is the fact that she has a nose that would make a big-nosed Jew blush, hands that even an 80 year old granny would be embarrassed about and an ass three times the size of mine!!!

So in closing, this is all I have to say to her...

This is how I define beauty MIA~

"Beauty seems to be in the eyes of the jealous B*TCH that couldn't stop staring at me due to the fact that her fiance couldn't stop himself from staring at me either!"