Why do you suppose it is that some people have the inability to apologise?
Is it because they genuinely believe that no matter the situation, they are always right? Do they think that just because they have some warped perception of themselves that they are never accountable?
I ask because throughout my life there have been times when I would rather have eaten my own vomit than apologise to someone but as much as the prospect of eating vomit might interest some people, there is always, always, some little voice in the back of my head, telling me to say sorry and most of the time, I do. My little Jimeny Cricket is always present in any situation and if I am wrong, most of the time, I will apologise for it.
I just don't understand how some people will NOT apologise at any expense. Do they believe that they don't have to? And if they believe this, then why the hell not? Why don't you have to apologise? What the hell makes you so damn close to perfection that if by some unlikely chance, you have done something wrong, then the responsibility of the apology certainly shouldn't rest with you??? What makes you so certain?
The reason for my ranting today is simply due to certain members of my family that seem to think that due to the unfortunate fact that I am younger than them, I am responsible for the apology, even if I haven't done anything wrong.. Mr gran, bless her heart - she means well, is always saying to me "Just apologise and smooth things over" BUGGER THAT!
My aunt, bless her heart - I don't think she means well, always says to me, I am older than you and you can apologise to me. BUGGER THAT!!! I have an enormous problem with her logic! There is +- 20 years difference between us, so for the rest of my life, no matter what the situation, she is ALWAYS going to be older than me.. Even when I am someones mother, she will still be older than me but does that mean for the rest of my life, I am always going to be the one to apologise? Do I always have to tuck my tail between my legs, swallow my beliefs and apologise due to the fact that she has 20 years on me? How does she rationalise this stupid stupid "explanation" in her head????
What she tries to tell me, ad nausium, is that because I am younger than her, I need to shut up, accept anything she throws at me and apologise when there is an argument. And she bases this theory on that fact that she believes that she is 1. As damn near close to perfect as someone can be; and 2. that she is older than me so it is my "responsibility" to apologise! WHAT A CROCK!!!
Why is it that for some people "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" ?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Ummm, no, not so much...
Okay, so, last night before I went to sleep, I had decided, that today, I was going to write down some really mushy, gushy stuff about being grateful for the friends and family that I have in my life... (yeah, that would be your queue to throw up). I think this sudden rush of blood to the head was brought on due to a combination of the fact that my little sister turned 18 on Friday, that we had an entire weekend of friends and family and then I sat up till very late last night with a friend talking about the complexities of her love life...or current lack thereof...
But then, after having very little sleep and eventually waking up to the deafening sound of my alarm , the thought crossed my mind - Was I feeling all that grateful? - Ummm, no, not so much...
Truth be told, I have a lot that I can be grateful for but isn't it sometimes that much more fulfilling to have a good rant about all the things you aren't actually grateful for???
For example, on this particular Monday, after having very little sleep, I find myself in my office, battling to choke down my breakfast due to the fact that I am currently contemplating the murder of a colleague... If I have to hear the words "Are you hungry for Jesus" ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I have nothing against religion or anyone who is a believer in anything... I do however, have an incredible problem with being subjected to gospel music first thing in the morning, every working morning, between the hours of 8 and 9 in the morning. I feel that it is just plain and simply unnecessary! I don't sit here, blasting music about how I am "hungry for Satan" (Not that I am even remotely Satanic) but the point is the same : HAVE A LITTLE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE DAMMIT!! I mean, seriously?? What if I was a raging Satanist and the type to take serious offence to the melodies of "are you hungry for Jesus"??? What then?
It's bad enough having to be awake and be at work, on a MONDAY no less; and share an office with people who, for whatever reason, even in the blistering Joburg heat, never seem to feel that heat, having the daily struggle with them over the air con, I now have to throw into the mix, that I actually don't like their choice in music... Do I honestly have the energy for this?! And even if I did, on this particular Monday, have the energy to say something about it, I am almost 1000% certain that the reaction is going to be "oh, really, that is so strange. Don't you follow the word of our Lord?" Ummm, no, not so much! But the fact remains, even if I did find myself with an insatiable "hunger for Jesus", I certainly would be considerate enough keep the harmonising melodies of it all, TO MYSELF!
If you ask me, there are plenty of thing to be grateful for...annoying, self indulgent colleagues with damaged temperature regulators,UMMM, NO, NOT SO MUCH!
But then, after having very little sleep and eventually waking up to the deafening sound of my alarm , the thought crossed my mind - Was I feeling all that grateful? - Ummm, no, not so much...
Truth be told, I have a lot that I can be grateful for but isn't it sometimes that much more fulfilling to have a good rant about all the things you aren't actually grateful for???
For example, on this particular Monday, after having very little sleep, I find myself in my office, battling to choke down my breakfast due to the fact that I am currently contemplating the murder of a colleague... If I have to hear the words "Are you hungry for Jesus" ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I have nothing against religion or anyone who is a believer in anything... I do however, have an incredible problem with being subjected to gospel music first thing in the morning, every working morning, between the hours of 8 and 9 in the morning. I feel that it is just plain and simply unnecessary! I don't sit here, blasting music about how I am "hungry for Satan" (Not that I am even remotely Satanic) but the point is the same : HAVE A LITTLE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE DAMMIT!! I mean, seriously?? What if I was a raging Satanist and the type to take serious offence to the melodies of "are you hungry for Jesus"??? What then?
It's bad enough having to be awake and be at work, on a MONDAY no less; and share an office with people who, for whatever reason, even in the blistering Joburg heat, never seem to feel that heat, having the daily struggle with them over the air con, I now have to throw into the mix, that I actually don't like their choice in music... Do I honestly have the energy for this?! And even if I did, on this particular Monday, have the energy to say something about it, I am almost 1000% certain that the reaction is going to be "oh, really, that is so strange. Don't you follow the word of our Lord?" Ummm, no, not so much! But the fact remains, even if I did find myself with an insatiable "hunger for Jesus", I certainly would be considerate enough keep the harmonising melodies of it all, TO MYSELF!
If you ask me, there are plenty of thing to be grateful for...annoying, self indulgent colleagues with damaged temperature regulators,UMMM, NO, NOT SO MUCH!
Friday, January 22, 2010
What about the filling?
I have recently started working for a company (and by recently, I mean, about 6 or 7 months ago) and I have noticed that there are some leaders and some followers. And then, there are those that are just content to do absolutely nothing at all, but that is an entirely different story on it's own.
The leaders are bold and strong and wanna take charge but also most likely to be the one's crawling up the boss's arse for that elusive "gold star" of approval. These are the kinds of people that I like least. Not because I am one of those under-achievers who cant seem to make the grade and am envious. And not because I am an over achiever that cant stand any challenge for my "teacher's pet" position. For the pure and simple reason that I don't understand why some people feel it to be of the utmost importance to show other people up but puffing out their feathers and doing the "I am better than you" strut... What is the point of it? So the boss notices that you've done a good job, or that you have taken some initiative..Oh goodie for you!
But seriously, you lose the respect of your colleagues and peers by being the "but-kiss" of the month 13 months of the year.. People don't wanna be friends with the "But-kiss". The "but-kiss" doesn't get invited for after-work drinks, or to the water cooler to skinner. No one even wants to be seen with the "Butt-kiss" because automatically by association, you then must be wanting to get "butt-kiss" points... The "butt-kiss" is like the red-haired step child of the family...
I don't see what the big deal is about being the favourite... Cos at the end of the day, it takes all types of people to make a business successful and by that, I am referring to the followers of the company. Ultimately, it starts with Nandi, the gossip queen, tea girl, who makes up the very thin, flavour-less bottom crust. And it ends with the beer bellied, power-tie wearing, cold stare boss who makes up the rich and golden-brown, light and fluffy, upper-crust. But what most people forget is those that make up the filling of the award winning pie... The followers...
People like boring and plain, partially and potentially suicidal Mary in accounts, without whom, the company wouldn't survive? What about "I'm so flirty", short-skirt-y, Kylie who answers the phone, who, without her bubbly personality, the company wouldn't survive? How about Mr straight-laced, annoying-as-hell, anal retentive Billy who is otherwise known as the bean-counter, without whom, the company would also, not survive? What happens to the everyday praise for these people?
But then... you get the "I-am-so-much-better-than-you" girl (For this story, we shall call her Vicki) who feels that anything you can do, she can do better.. Vicki isn't going to win any prizes for being the prettiest, or hardest worker. Vicki is a girl with a very low self esteem that fees that in order for her to feel better than everyone else, she needs to make people aware of her (non-existent) brilliance on a daily basis.
She believes that her way to a better self esteem is by seeking approval from the boss, who, truth be told, couldn't actually give a sh*t whether she was there or not as she really doesn't bring anything spectacular to his pie... Vicki walks around with the "Hello, my name is Vicki, and I am the BUTT-KISS of the month" badge permanently stuck to her forehead... She's THAT girl... you know which girl... the one in YOUR office that you just wanna smack! Yip, that's our Vicki..
Truth be told, Vicki means well, but by crawling up the bosses arse 8 days a week, all that is happening is that she is losing the respect of her colleagues and peers and no one really like her. So my question is, what does one want to be the "teacher's pet" for? Can anyone tell me what it does for you in the long run???
Bottom line: whether or not "Mrs Butt-Kiss" of the month gets that gold star or not, she'll still only ever be known as "Butt-kiss of the month" and who wants to be the part of the pie that no one likes?
The leaders are bold and strong and wanna take charge but also most likely to be the one's crawling up the boss's arse for that elusive "gold star" of approval. These are the kinds of people that I like least. Not because I am one of those under-achievers who cant seem to make the grade and am envious. And not because I am an over achiever that cant stand any challenge for my "teacher's pet" position. For the pure and simple reason that I don't understand why some people feel it to be of the utmost importance to show other people up but puffing out their feathers and doing the "I am better than you" strut... What is the point of it? So the boss notices that you've done a good job, or that you have taken some initiative..Oh goodie for you!
But seriously, you lose the respect of your colleagues and peers by being the "but-kiss" of the month 13 months of the year.. People don't wanna be friends with the "But-kiss". The "but-kiss" doesn't get invited for after-work drinks, or to the water cooler to skinner. No one even wants to be seen with the "Butt-kiss" because automatically by association, you then must be wanting to get "butt-kiss" points... The "butt-kiss" is like the red-haired step child of the family...
I don't see what the big deal is about being the favourite... Cos at the end of the day, it takes all types of people to make a business successful and by that, I am referring to the followers of the company. Ultimately, it starts with Nandi, the gossip queen, tea girl, who makes up the very thin, flavour-less bottom crust. And it ends with the beer bellied, power-tie wearing, cold stare boss who makes up the rich and golden-brown, light and fluffy, upper-crust. But what most people forget is those that make up the filling of the award winning pie... The followers...
People like boring and plain, partially and potentially suicidal Mary in accounts, without whom, the company wouldn't survive? What about "I'm so flirty", short-skirt-y, Kylie who answers the phone, who, without her bubbly personality, the company wouldn't survive? How about Mr straight-laced, annoying-as-hell, anal retentive Billy who is otherwise known as the bean-counter, without whom, the company would also, not survive? What happens to the everyday praise for these people?
But then... you get the "I-am-so-much-better-than-you" girl (For this story, we shall call her Vicki) who feels that anything you can do, she can do better.. Vicki isn't going to win any prizes for being the prettiest, or hardest worker. Vicki is a girl with a very low self esteem that fees that in order for her to feel better than everyone else, she needs to make people aware of her (non-existent) brilliance on a daily basis.
She believes that her way to a better self esteem is by seeking approval from the boss, who, truth be told, couldn't actually give a sh*t whether she was there or not as she really doesn't bring anything spectacular to his pie... Vicki walks around with the "Hello, my name is Vicki, and I am the BUTT-KISS of the month" badge permanently stuck to her forehead... She's THAT girl... you know which girl... the one in YOUR office that you just wanna smack! Yip, that's our Vicki..
Truth be told, Vicki means well, but by crawling up the bosses arse 8 days a week, all that is happening is that she is losing the respect of her colleagues and peers and no one really like her. So my question is, what does one want to be the "teacher's pet" for? Can anyone tell me what it does for you in the long run???
Bottom line: whether or not "Mrs Butt-Kiss" of the month gets that gold star or not, she'll still only ever be known as "Butt-kiss of the month" and who wants to be the part of the pie that no one likes?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Fairytale Endings...
There is always a time in life where there is a need for a fairytale...Like when you're five years old, had a rough day on the playground and need to hear something to restore your faith in the world and all the people in it. But can I just say that I dont think this is actually doing any little kid any justice.
When they are little, story after story has a happy ending, which in theory (and also, so as not to cause depression amongst children under ten), is all well and good but the reality is, life just doesnt work out that way...
Maybe one in every thousand people ends up with the "Brady-Bunch" family, the most popular friends, the perfect wife and amazing children...and honestly, good for them! But the truth remains, life isnt always that kind to all of us and after having been fed these lies about Knight's in shining armour and Princes who ride white stallions that come to sweep you off your feet and carry you away to a world of "happily ever after"; the average guy driving his 2001 VW Polo with a little bit of a beer gut and perhaps a nervous twitch send us women into a tailspin that "we're never going to find anyone"... I am sure every girl has heard at least one of her friends saying, "I am going to be alone forever!"... I genuinely believe that this can all be traced back to the immense let down known as the fairytale...
Growing up, girls dream of all sorts of wonderful things which they have seen or read about in Fairytales. The picture themselves finding their prince and riding into the sunset to a land known as "Happily Ever After". Twenty years later when that very same girl is stuck in a job she hates, living in an apartment she had always imagined would be a castle, dating a guy who's over weight, farts under the covers and burps out loud at the dinner table; this girl takes stock of what she has and what she had always dreamed she would have and compares to two. And when she realises that the life she lives pales in comparison to that of what Snow White and Cinderella got to live; that is when the ultimate let down starts to set in.
Perhaps this has something to do with my previous post. Maybe when we are children, all the people we admire, are not real. They have incredible teeth and chissled bodies. They live in castles and have everything their hearts desire and good always seems to triumph over evil. Maybe this is the reason that when we grow up, we're always chasing the bigger and better. The kinder and more handsome. The faster and sleeker.
Can we blame our constant need to keep chasing on the Fairytale Ending?
When they are little, story after story has a happy ending, which in theory (and also, so as not to cause depression amongst children under ten), is all well and good but the reality is, life just doesnt work out that way...
Maybe one in every thousand people ends up with the "Brady-Bunch" family, the most popular friends, the perfect wife and amazing children...and honestly, good for them! But the truth remains, life isnt always that kind to all of us and after having been fed these lies about Knight's in shining armour and Princes who ride white stallions that come to sweep you off your feet and carry you away to a world of "happily ever after"; the average guy driving his 2001 VW Polo with a little bit of a beer gut and perhaps a nervous twitch send us women into a tailspin that "we're never going to find anyone"... I am sure every girl has heard at least one of her friends saying, "I am going to be alone forever!"... I genuinely believe that this can all be traced back to the immense let down known as the fairytale...
Growing up, girls dream of all sorts of wonderful things which they have seen or read about in Fairytales. The picture themselves finding their prince and riding into the sunset to a land known as "Happily Ever After". Twenty years later when that very same girl is stuck in a job she hates, living in an apartment she had always imagined would be a castle, dating a guy who's over weight, farts under the covers and burps out loud at the dinner table; this girl takes stock of what she has and what she had always dreamed she would have and compares to two. And when she realises that the life she lives pales in comparison to that of what Snow White and Cinderella got to live; that is when the ultimate let down starts to set in.
Perhaps this has something to do with my previous post. Maybe when we are children, all the people we admire, are not real. They have incredible teeth and chissled bodies. They live in castles and have everything their hearts desire and good always seems to triumph over evil. Maybe this is the reason that when we grow up, we're always chasing the bigger and better. The kinder and more handsome. The faster and sleeker.
Can we blame our constant need to keep chasing on the Fairytale Ending?
Why?
Why do you suppose it is that we always want the things we can't have? We want them and wish for them, some even pray for them...Funny thing is, most of us who are lucky enough to get whatever it is that we have so desperately been wanting, take a step back at some stage and consider if we actually still want it now that we have it...
Is it because we are always chasing the next best thing? Have we become a society where enough just isn't ever enough? We're constantly chasing things in our lives. Jobs, homes, cars, success, happiness, even love...yet when we finally get it, is it good enough or is there still the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there might be something/someone just a little better than what we have now..
I am wondering what it takes to satisfy the human nature to stop us from chasing the bigger and better?
Is it because we are always chasing the next best thing? Have we become a society where enough just isn't ever enough? We're constantly chasing things in our lives. Jobs, homes, cars, success, happiness, even love...yet when we finally get it, is it good enough or is there still the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there might be something/someone just a little better than what we have now..
I am wondering what it takes to satisfy the human nature to stop us from chasing the bigger and better?
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